Inspired by this excellent tweet -
niknightingale
Every time Ricky Ponting gets out, an angel gets a blowjob. #ashes
the sofa threw the hashtag everytimepontinggetsout into twitter. Here are the results -
prestontowers
Hussey becomes one step closer to being captain. #wishfulthinking
Sofa_American
Snoop Dogg gets a little higher.
prestontowers
Shares in Swisse Vitamins goes down 10c.
prestontowers
there's another blank stare we don't have to see.
saintcolb
Australians pray for rain
tenzin_g
Geoff Boycott's mum catches another ball in her pinny.
hannahastro
@NotRickyPonting has to think of something witty to say…
ChennaiIPL
RT @Prestwickuk: Freddy Flintoff gets a free pint #ashes
Green27
George Osbourne cuts 300 more nurses 200 teachers and kills a baby jesus
NathanJDowd
a member of the Barmy Army gets even more sunburnt #ashes
thecricketcouch
Tendulkar punches the air, "Yessss!!" #ashes
steve_osmond
Steve Waugh kicks his TV screen in #ashes
ryanidr
I do a little dance and then make pizza. True story.
PritchMaestro
clarkes nose goes that bit further up his arse #Ashes
Prestwickuk
A kid gets a brand new chopper bike #ashes
NathanJDowd
Shane Warne's teeth get whiter #ashes
steve_osmond
Douglas Jardine gets reborn #ashes
ananth1606
Sachin fans become delirious. #ashes @sachin_rt
EmClub
.......... Tendulkar fans stay happy
PritchMaestro
David Cameron gets a little less of a posh twat! Still a long way to go yet then... #Ashes
chriswyc
Warne flips the bird at disgust of not being made captain
djeterg19
RT @Prestwickuk Kittens swarm the earth in a veritable tsunami of cuteness #ashes
djeterg19
RT @marklandau the rainforests get that little bit bigger
GhostAtTheFeast
it spares us hearing another of these jokes...
specter1717
Shane Warne and Doug Bollinger lose another hair strand #ashes
thecricketcouch
a village idiot in Texas thinks his twin is out #ashes
ananth1606
is trending. #ashes
djeterg19
RT @steve_osmond i wet myself laughing #ashes
Prestwickuk
every Englishman gets one year younger #ashes
kristian_22
England get closer to winning the ashes!!
Pranank
i win myself a bet #ashes
PtheJ
the government decide its time for a happiness index
TheTooHugeWorld
Warney gets a chubby.
OXONAssassin
He get's that little bit bolder
shivamLM
north korea and south korea move closer to peace.
meagher99
test match sofa fill my timeline
thecricketcouch
collective hair quotient on the field falls. #ashes
braddrs
a kitten is saved from drowning
Prestwickuk
doughnuts rain from the sky #ashes
SteveCorreia
RT @NathanJDowd Warne is closer to a comeback as captain #ashes
alokpi
a suicide bomber finds a reason to live.
steve_osmond
cheap cider turns into champagne #ashes
alokpi
we get closer to a cure for cancer.
AndyDekka
The scoreboard's hardly moved since Ponting came in!
Prestwickuk
Britain gets £1 closer towards getting out of debt #ashes
riprap007
AndyCoulson has to tell the truth #ashes
Cerebz
A Warne victim gets some therapy
richirvine
his arm hair knows it;s in for a proper scratchin'
Prestwickuk
Kittens swarm the earth in a veritable tsunami of cuteness #ashes
bagrat15
everyone gets to spit in ponting's hands
marklandau
the rainforests get that little bit bigger
owenblackhurst
Shane Warne eats a cheeseburger and high-fives Botham
NathanJDowd
Warne is closer to a comeback as captain #ashes
BSKneon
A tendulkar fan cums in his pants
Prestwickuk
Freddy Flintoff gets a free pint #ashes
steve_osmond
i wet myself laughing #ashes
Sofa_American
an entirely new species is found in Papua New Guinua
djeterg19
RT @Prestwickuk a puppy gets adopted #ashes
djeterg19
RT @madraslover a lot of people get an orgasm on twitter
Prestwickuk
a puppy gets adopted #ashes
madraslover
a lot of people get an orgasm on twitter
Darren_Oakley
I laugh my f***ing arse off!!!
riprap007
Clarke has to abandon another half drunk cup of tea #ashes
nevharvey
10 million people do a little sex wee