Blog

So the phoney part of the phoney war is over and honours are even. Though anybody sitting through Smith and Bosman's partnership on Sunday of 170 in 13 overs could be forgiven for thinking that for us Tommies it may be prudent to sign a non aggression pact and get the hell out of South Africa on the first available bi-plane. The talk is of thrilling and exciting cricket; 20/20 as it should be played. 725 runs in 73 overs of cricket spread over two shortened days with one game ending in a one run victory should all add up to entertainment. I didn't quite see it that way. Two flat pitches and some diabolical bowling from both sides, but most especially England's 2nd or even 3rd string, made for repetitive tedium. The batting side is already hugely advantaged in 20/20 cricket by having 10 wickets to fall and only 20 overs to lose them in. If 20/20 is going to maintain its impact, there has to be something in the wicket for the bowlers or else all nuance goes down the Swanny.

Mahmood did manage to contrive one of the most exasperating overs (if you're English) or entertaining (if you're South African) in international cricket history. 2 wicket taking balls off a free hit and a no ball interspersed with length balls and long hops will hopefully have given the England hierarchy the necessary ammunition to make Mahmood the first casualty of the contest. He bowls a decent slower ball bouncer, every three balls. The rest go for four. Wright served up more full tosses than I received in the last three seasons of club cricket. Pieterson and Denly can't be blamed - because they can't bowl. Only Anderson found the right length, and therein lies optimism at least. Broad and Onions have yet to be unsheathed and once Swann returns, England's bowling attack will take on a very different look. But should injury hit any of the front line bowlers, there really is nothing left to fall back on. Perhaps Harmy needed picking after all.

The South Africans shouldn't get too jolly, mind. Smith aside, their man of the series was Loots Bosman and he won't play in the tests. Their other frontline batters had no crease time, and Steyn looked short of ideas on the flat tracks. Indeed, another one day specialist, Ryan Mclaren was probably the Saffies' best bowler. With Ntini down on pace and Morne Morkel erratic at best, the test series could be quite a run fest.

But first we must undergo the ritual humiliation that is a five match ODI series. Or maybe not. Strauss back at the helm. Broad and Onions fit? KP back in his stride. I'm making no predictions, but softly, nearly silently, I may allow a whisper of hope to escape my lips. But, if I so much as see Mahmood carrying Gatorade to the middle for an exhausted Cook, then take me to the nearest correctional facility, shine an angle poise lamp in my face and utter the truest of words: "for you, Tommy, the war is over". 

Listen to the 1st Twenty20 Highlights.

Listen to the 2nd Twenty20 Highlights.