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England’s chastened Desert Rats arrive in Abu Dhabi hoping a change of scenery improves their fortunes against an abnormally disciplined Pakistan.
Last week’s ten-wicket humiliation should have blown away any cobwebs for Team England after five months away from the Test arena, with their trademark meticulous planning ruthlessly unpicked by Misbah-ul-Haq and his level-headed side in Dubai.
Strangely, England’s strongest suit from the first Test is also its greatest source of selection speculation, fuelled further this morning by news that Chris Tremlett has a dodgy back again and could be ruled out of the bowling unit for the duration.
Tremlett: Broken. Again.
The next oversized cab off the rank is notionally Steven Finn, but don’t rule out the honest toil of Graeme Onions or even the outrageous idea of playing Monty Panesar as a second spinner.
As enthusiastic as his drinks carrying was, several of us at Sofa Towers would have preferred Monty in the XI for the first Test and the Abu Dhabi wicket looks, if anything, even more conducive to the slow stuff.
But England’s recent strength has lain partly in selection rigidity – there was not a single Test debutant in 2011 – and they are hell-bent on sticking to the tried and tested, often to the point of obduracy.
The batting in Dubai was a complete disaster, bar Matt Prior’s unbeaten 70 in the first innings and Jonathan Trott’s dogged 49 in the second.
An attack of Umar Gul, Aizaz Cheema, Saeed Ajmal and Abdur Rehman wasn’t outstanding so much as disciplined and attuned to Test match cricket - which is more than can be said for Andrew Strauss’ undignified hack across the line to Ajmal first time round.
Saeed Ajmal celebrates while Billy Bowden seizes the opportunity of a walk-on part.
Strauss will walk out to open with Alastair Cook for the hundredth time this week and, with little or no competition for an opening berth, the vultures won’t be circling for a little while yet despite his increasingly desperate need for runs.
Equally culpable were the infuriatingly irresponsible Kevin 'it’s the way I play' Pietersen and Ian Bell - not alone in being all at sea against Ajmal, who was afforded too much time and respect to find his rhythm.
All is not lost, however, with England adept at bouncing back (see the forgotten calamity in the Perth Test last winter).
Indeed, most of the battle seems to be mental for England’s top order as a sub-continental complex stretches back long before this squad’s time.
They may also face for the first time the young left-armer, Junaid Khan, who could replace Cheema, while Umar Akmal has been touted as a possible replacement for Asad Shafiq, should the hosts feel inclined.
Last summer’s drubbing of India and the destruction of Australia before that are now no more than sepia-tinged memories for the supposed best side in the world.
Test cricket isn’t supposed to be that easy, and Andy Flower’s charges will seek to prove their worth and capitalise on their rude awakening to the challenges that await them in this series and beyond.
*Join us on Test Match Sofa from 5.45am GMT tomorrow for live ball-by-ball coverage of the second Test between Pakistan and England in Abu Dhabi.