The promised rain didn’t come. Bradman didn’t rise like Lazarus from the dead to save Australia. There was no miracle.
Instead the now familiar pattern of unprecedented one sidedness prevailed.
The game was in truth already up at the start of day three, but England showed no mercy. Bresnan and Prior resumed on 488-7 and after 45 minutes of relative circumspection they cut loose. As if the hosts hadn’t suffered enough abject humiliation, they were made to endure an extended morning session in which they conceded 148 runs whilst picking up the wickets of Bresnan for 35 and Prior for a fluent, rapid and magnificent 118 from 130 balls.
There was a while when it seemed Johnson would get his name on the honours board which would surely have been among the bigger travesties perpetrated in cricket history. In the end he had to settle for figures of 4-168, and that flattered him.
Centuries have been hard to come by for Australia’s batsmen, but perhaps they should take tips from the bowlers. When Tremlett was finally dismissed for a fluent, even occasionally elegant 12, four of Australia’s pie chuckers had brought up their tons.
Swann was left cruelly high and dry 64 runs short of an inevitable maiden test century; his 36 not out proving at the end of the day’s play to be higher than four of Australia’s top six would manage before the close.
When Watson and Hughes eventually arrived to begin Australia’s 2nd innings they faced a deficit of 364, which ominously, of course, is precisely what Len Hutton scored at the Oval in 1938 during Australia’s biggest trouncing. Somehow what was unfolding at the SCG seemed even more comprehensive.
England’s final total of 644 was their highest ever in Australia. It was the fourth time they had passed 500 in the series and put into even sharper perspective the aberration of Perth.
The wicket, however, was playing well. The sun was out and whilst all hopes of an Aussie victory had been put to bed, there was still the prospect of four hours’ tough cricket and perhaps a race against time on day 5.
But these Aussies can contrive all sorts of ways of compounding their painful failure. Watson had looked good, for about the seventh time this series, before he was sold a dummy by Hughes and was run out by a full pitch’s length with the score on 46. I suppose it was retribution for Hughes’ own dismissal at the MCG.
On the Sofa we wondered whether this would encourage Hughes to stay as far away from Watson as possible. Maybe try hanging around in the middle for a while. But no. Instead he hung his bat out to Bresnan and presented Prior with the first of his four catches.
Khawaja and Clarke hinted at permanence in an 18 over stand worth 65. But to put this “resistance” in perspective, Bresnan and Prior had earlier put on 102 in 28 overs for the 8th wicket.
Khawaja was snared by a decent ball from Anderson, but before we sing the praises of the young debutant, it’s worth remembering that he faced 168 balls for his 59 runs in the match; a testament to England’s bowlers perhaps, but also a warning that however much Khawaja may represent the future, he is not yet a ready made saviour.
Clarke got an absolute beauty from Anderson that went like a leg break. The Clarke of earlier in the series wouldn’t have managed to nick it and in his 41 there were signs of his old form. But I’m clutching at straws.
There was the alarming prospect of being denied a fifth day as first Hussey played a loose cut to Pietersen in the gully and then Tremlett disposed of Haddin and Johnson in consecutive balls just before the scheduled close that resulted in Strauss claiming the extra half hour. But Smith and Siddle showed how to ride your luck with an array of wild wafts and dead bat defence that perfectly illustrated Australia’s incoherent approach.
It means we can all wallow in the glow of inevitable victory for an extra day. We can prepare our stats, marshall our arguments and try to understand what on earth has happened over the last seven weeks.
It’s been surreal. It’s been heavenly. It’s been hugely confusing at times as we try to interpret the behaviour of a wicket that can produce 644 runs for one team and a mere 213-7 for the other.
But that is all for tomorrow. For now, England fans can soak up the drawn out agony of their hosts and bathe in the warm, prolonged glow of reflected glory. And maybe even catch the final day of the South Africa v. India series to remind ourselves of the tougher challenges to come.