I have risen from my Yuletide deathbed just in time to watch the perhaps even more remarkable resurrection of English cricket.
I say remarkable, yet England had been on top for so much of the previous three tests (yes, even day one in Perth) that it would be reasonable to greet their brutal trouncing of Australia at the MCG with little more than a shrug of the shoulders and a sotto voce “well I never.”
But that would be to ignore the true significance of the team’s all round performance.
At the start of the series England’s bowling line up was fixed in stone. The three support seamers and spinner were only going to play in the event of injury, we thought.
At Perth Tremlett was rightly called up and performed excellently, but it was Perth and Tremlett is a man mountain.
At the “G”, however, it has been both Tremlett and Bresnan who have driven England to the brink of retaining the Ashes with a match to spare. That is not to downplay Anderson’s 1st innings efforts but he was bowling in favourable conditions on a first day pitch.
When the surface looked as flat as a Bengaluru belter it wasn’t to Anderson that Strauss turned for the post tea breakthrough.
Bresnan’s spell after the break of 3-2 in 18 balls signals that England are not simply a well drilled XI; a first team showered with the best coaching resources money can buy sent out to do a specific job against an ailing Australian side in disarray. An XI drawn solely from contracted players, kept as far away from the mediocrity of county cricket as possible to avoid bad habits wrecking promising careers.
No. The heroes of yesterday were two county stalwarts. Waiting in the wings are Panesar and Shahzad both of whom played extensively in the championship last summer. Morgan, Prior and Finn all got a healthy amount of time on the county circuit as well.
The signs are very promising. Certainly there isn’t the depth in batting that India possesses but it’s bowlers that win you matches and currently England have Onions to return as well as the 8 bowlers out in Australia.
For the hosts it was another miserable day. The five wickets in the morning session brought as much anxiety as relief. The pitch wasn’t misbehaving but it wasn’t going to be easy to bat for two days on it.
Siddle’s six wickets were deserved but irrelevant.
Harris sustained a stress fracture of the ankle, Johnson managed a straight ball and Hilfenhaus doubled his series wicket taking tally by picking up two late wickets.
Thereafter it was all about how the Aussies would handle the mountainous deficit (415 – the highest ever after batting first in an Ashes match).
Things began well. The new ball failed to swing. On the Sofa we began to wonder if a Brisbane style reverse was on the cards.
In the end it all worked out painfully predictably.
Watson needlessly ran out Hughes who looked in better touch than at any time since his debuts tests against South Africa.
Then Watson left a reversing in-ducker from Bresnan, Ponting dragged on, and Hussey, who was due a triple century after his first innings failure drove straight to Bell at short extra.
I should be elated. I am elated, but also saddened. It could be the gastro-enteritis talking, but Ponting’s capitulation now seems a punishment too far.
He imploded yesterday over the Pieterson inside edge. Today he was slowly humiliated. The longer he batted the more it must have been obvious that not only were Australia a beaten side, they were being annihilated but a vastly superior team, with a depth of resources he could only dream of, led by selectors and management sure of purpose.
Eventually all the greats have to go. They are all beaten by the passage of time, but if, as seems likely, this is Ponting’s last test series, he will be defeated by his oldest and bitterest foe, not with pride in tact but rather humiliated, eviscerated and publicly shamed.
Border, Taylor and Waugh got to leave on highs with their country top of the tree and moistened Aussie eyes mouthing lacrimose dirges about their service to the venerable Baggy Green.
Like Julian, the last of the great Roman emperors, he has been betrayed as much by his own men as his naïve leadership failings. The hun (South Africa), the vandals (England) and the Goths (India) are laying waste to Australia’s once mighty empire.
You may say good riddance. Before the series began it was my heart felt wish. And after a revitalizing whisky or two I no doubt will be dancing and gloating away about one hour into the fourth day’s play tomorrow morning when England’s victory is confirmed.
But just at this moment, in my sickly addled state, I’m already feeling a pang of nostalgia for a once magnificent cricketing colossus.