January 2010

Swann's songs top the charts

by daniel 1. January 2010 17:28

It's with some trepidation that I write this latest blog entry. Being a natural pessimist and deeply superstitious I'm wary of getting over excited by England's massive, overwhelming and total victory over the hapless Saffies at Durban. But then again, this could be the only time we get to crow. So crow I shall, with the caveat that so far on this tour no side has strung two dominating performances together. And with the next game being at Cape Town, a traditionally strong venue for South Africa, we should expect a backlash.

However, I also feel a twinge of guilt about The Sofa's current Swannie jingle. His 54 wickets in 2009 and successive man of the match awards demand recognition, so with that in mind may I suggest for the first time in the short but illustrious history of "nearly award winning website Test Match Sofa" that we initiate a jingle change?

The following is to be sung to the tune of Santa Claus is Coming to Town (and before Dame Sophia says anything, I know there is one too may syllables in the last line of each stanza - so add a note).

Listen to The Graeme Swann Song.

You'd better not drive

You'd better block out.

Watch for the turn

Or he's up for a shout.

Graeme Swann is coming to Cape Town.

 

He averages forty

With bat between his hands.

Better stats than Freddie.

Lead singer in a band.

 

You'd better not smile,

You'd better not pout.

Whatever you do

You're gonna get out.

Graeme Swann is coming to Cape Town.

 

"Get me on the telly",

He tweets to everyone;

But batsmen turn to jelly

When facing Graeme Swann.

 

You'd better not cut,

You'd better not slice.

Like chocolate eclairs

He's naughty and nice.

Graeme Swann is coming to town.

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